I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
