I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
