I'm drive I can fine osifer
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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