a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
