Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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