he shaved USA in his pubs
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize