After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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