shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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