PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
