I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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