OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
