In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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