great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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