Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
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