we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
