hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
