I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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