Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
