he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
