well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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