and next time when you feel me up, do it right
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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