Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
