please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
