Don't EVER smell your tampon
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
