omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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