i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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