My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
