jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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