I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
