I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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