Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
