the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize