After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
