4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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