you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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