Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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