but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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