I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i think i have herpe
just one?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
