My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize