The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
