When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize