I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize