Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
