Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
That was before I lit my hair on fire
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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