Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
