Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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