Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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