he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
