the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Let's paint friendship bongs
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
