All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
