Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
