Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize