So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
