Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
