You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
