They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
